38 Carol Queen – An Exploration into Masturbation, Food & Our Sexual Desires

The Cravings Whisperer Podcast with Alexandra Jamieson

Would you like to talk more about your sexual desires?

The truth is, you’re not alone.

Did you know history has revealed that women were administered to masturbate by a doctor to relax and balance their hormones?

Yes… It’s true!

This subject still makes me a little nervous, but today I’m going to dive straight into it. This month we’re here to celebrate the 20th anniversary of National Masturbation Month!

Dr Carol Queen is my first guest to start the celebration. Carol has a PHD in sexology, she is an activist, public speaker, sex educator, co-creator of National/International Masturbation Month, award winning author and collaborator for Good Vibrations.

In this episode we talk about all the benefits of masturbation. How it balances your hormones, helps with junk food cravings, relaxes your body, plus much, much more!

So ladies and gents, it’s time to stop consuming food as safe sex and it’s time to start practising masturbation…. where there’s NO MORE SHAME!!

You can Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or TuneIn

“National Masturbation Month is an open source holiday.” (Click here to share the show)

Show Notes:

  • International Masturbation Month
  • What is Sexology
  • Why the confusion around sex education
  • The history on masturbation
  • How Carol began this journey
  • The value in non-conforming
  • Becoming a feminist as a young girl
  • Why are we bullied and shamed for what our body’s look like?
  • How to become a sexologist
  • What is a sex positive feminist

“Women as surveyed only orgasm 30% of the time, regularly or ever during intercourse.” (Click here to share the show)

  • The impact feminist fights (Sex Wars) had in the 1980s
  • The controversy behind feminism
  • Why Joycelyn Elders was fired by Bill Clinton
  • What is Good Vibrations
  • Say What!?… It’s a Masturbate-a-thon
  • What are the benefits of masturbation for women’s health
  • Why do women try to be somebody else for somebody else
  • The important questions women should ask themselves

 “Women are educated and encouraged to think about pleasing people in their lives in various context. Certainly erotically with somebody that they are into.” (Click here to share the show)

Links Mentioned:

 Facebook | Twitter | YouTube | GoodVibrations | CarolQueen

“Masturbation is more likely to lead to orgasm.” (Click here to share the show)

 
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Is self-love the missing ingredient in your weight loss plan? 5 Reasons To Masturbate

If you’ve tried every diet, cleanse, detox, and fast, and you’re still having trouble feeling good in your body, it’s time to really get serious:

It’s time to add self-pleasure (AKA masturbation) to your gym + juicing schedule.

Well, not JUST masturbation, but anything that brings you sincere physical pleasure that also balances your hormones. And arousal and orgasm are most easily achieved through masturbation, especially if you’re single, or in a sexless relationship.
5 reasons masturbation is a MUST for balancing hormones (and dropping a few pounds):

1. According to the 2009 University of Michigan study[i], orgasm help the body release oxytocin, the “love + bonding” hormone, which in turn lowers cortisol,
the main stress hormone chronically elevated in many women (like me!) and lead to stress eating, and weight loss resistance.

2. Higher levels of oxytocin makes us happy, which keeps those emotionally-triggered food cravings for sugars, cheese, and other “happy foods” at bay. This surge also raises levels of a substance called CCK, which helps control your appetite. Just start! Even if you’re not an expert, your own digits are ready to help you begin at home. Oxytocin levels are usually increased simply through the physical stimulation of the clitoris, vagina, cervix, and breasts. So even if you don’t reach climax, you’ll still be releasing these powerful neurotransmitters. Women who enjoy more sexual stimulation have more balanced estrogen and testosterone. These hormones add fire to sexual desire,  improve mood and memory and can even help prevent abdominal fat.

3. In my book, Women, Food, And Desire, I tell the story of a client who wasn’t dating, and wasn’t masturbating. She had also been suffering tummy trouble for years, and worked a very stressful job. Bloating, gas, and the dreaded “muffin top” that wouldn’t budge. I took her to Babeland, a clean, well-lit place for sex toys, and we talked with a knowledgeable staff member who helped her pick out her first non-toxic vibrator. After a couple of weeks of self-exploration, she noticed a major difference in her digestion! And she certainly had a nice spring in her step!

4. Daydream, girl! Another study[ii] reveals that sexy daydreams release testosterone in women – which means, when you read erotic fiction, or watch any kind of porn that excites you, your body will begin anticipating encounter, which naturally raises your libido. Babeland.com has some great options for the desire seeker.

5. Orgasms help us sleep, which may be the best reason of all to masturbate. Oxytocin, that wonderful love drug, creates an overall feeling of relaxation and even sleepiness. Vasopressin and melatonin, two other neurotransmitters associated with sleep, are also released during orgasm.

Masturbation happens in most relationships, so if you’re not talking about it with your partner, bring it up. Share this information with them!

If you’re single, and not masturbating regularly, start including self-pleasure in  your life, consistently.

The psychological and emotional benefits are so helpful for what ails us:

Wouldn’t it be nice to feel relaxed, satisfied, and good without needing a cupcake?

For more great insights on the benefits, myths, and latest science around masturbation, check out the latest Crave Cast podcast episodes!

I’ll be interviewing some of the top experts on female desire, sexual health and more!

Go here to subscribe to the Crave Cast: 

Happy May!

xo,

Alex

 

[i] J Sex Med. 2009 Mar;6(3):739-51. doi: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2008.01123.x. Epub 2008 Dec 5.

[ii] Horm Behav. 2011 May;59(5):754-64. doi: 10.1016/j.yhbeh.2010.12.005. Epub 2010 Dec 24.

 

 
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41 Sneaky Names For Sugar

41 Sneaky Names For Sugar

If you’ve ever been on a cleanse or detox diet, you were probably told to stop eating sugar as part of the plan. If you’re trying to clear up yeast or acne, you may have been warned to avoid sugar and alcohol. Fine, you thought. I can have my coffee without sugar, and I don’t drink soda anymore. I’ll have soda water with lime at the party this weekend.

But watch out:

Added sugars lurk everywhere, even in places we’ve come to know and love. Health food stores are stocked with treats that look healthy and come in cute wrappers, which lead us to think the food inside must be good for us — or at least better for us than the bag of Oreos we used to buy. Just because something is called a nectar doesn’t mean it’s healthy.

A sugar is any chemically-related, sweet-tasting carbohydrate, most of which are consumed as food. Most are derived from plants, but sugars can exist in many tissues, and just because something is derived from a plant doesn’t mean it’s healthy.

True, many of the sweeteners listed below offer more nutrition than the refined white crystal sugar you find in a sugar packet. For instance, blackstrap molasses contains a good amount of iron, and raw honey offers enzymes and antioxidants. Still, these “natural sweeteners” are sugar to your body.

Whether you’re doing a cleanse to cleare up your skin, growing your energy, or reducing your pain, eliminating added sugars and natural sweeteners is a great experiment. It can be hard to avoid all the natural sweeteners that are really sugar unless you put on your food detective hat at the store.

Here are 41 names for sugar to look out for:

  1. Agave nectar
  2. Barley malt
  3. Beet sugar
  4. Black strap molasses
  5. Brown rice syrup
  6. Brown sugar
  7. Cane sugar
  8. Caramel
  9. Carob syrup
  10. Coconut palm sugar
  11. Corn sweetener
  12. Corn syrup
  13. Corn-syrup solids
  14. Crystalline fructose
  15. Date sugar
  16. Dehydrated cane juice
  17. Dextrin
  18. Dextrose
  19. Dried oat syrup
  20. Evaporated can juice crystals
  21. Evaportated cane juice
  22. Fruit juice concentrate
  23. Glucose
  24. Golden syrup
  25. Gum syrup
  26. High-fructose corn syrup
  27. Honey
  28. Inverted sugar
  29. Malt syrup
  30. Maltodextrin
  31. Maltose
  32. Maple syrup
  33. Muscavado
  34. Palm sugar
  35. Refiner’s syrup
  36. Simple syrup
  37. Sorghum syrup
  38. Sucanat
  39. Sucrose
  40. Treacle
  41. Turbinado

This article was originally published on MindBodyGreen.com, written by Alexandra Jamieson.

 
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3 Ways Dessert Destroys Your Desire: [sugar + hormones]

Did you know what you eat has a huge effect on your libido? That red velvet cupcake is more dangerous than the Red Room of Pain…

3 ways sugar kills libido

According to the most recent Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, (DSM-5, 2013), the American Psychiatric Association’s classification and diagnostic tool, lack of desire (classified as HSDD or hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or female sexual interest/arousal disorder) and the related anxiety it causes, is the most common of women’s sexual complaints.

This can include a lack of sexual desire that causes distress, disinterest, and inability to achieve orgasm when orgasm was once easy. And orgasm, when accessible, is one of the best healing tools a woman, and a couple, can use to boost her vitality and health.

We want our desire back, and contrary to popular belief, a female viagra is not the answer.

In my book Women, Food, And Desire, I detail how the wrong diet can obliterate a woman’s libido. And how a trip to the health food store and Babeland.com can reignite and heal your hormones, vitality, and mood.

You may think this epidemic is effecting older women, on the verge of middle age, but the evidence shows young women are just as susceptible to this crippling lack of desire. A broad study of 31,000 U.S. females 18 and older published in 2008 in Obstetrics and Gynecology magazine, found that about 43 percent of women reported sexual problems. This lack of desire causes distress, and anxiety, as well as being linked with depression.

If you’re like me, you’ve noticed that as you grow through the years, your body changes – and so does your desire for the physical pleasures in life! (I know – duh! But really, our hormones really shift as we age, and what we eat is a major part of that.)

Sugar is one of the top foods that effects our libido, both emotionally and physically.

Funny thing is (and by funny, I mean cruel), the more out of whack our hormones get, the more we rely on sugar as our main source of physical pleasure…

…when what our mammal bodies really need (and crave) is sensual pleasure.

Here’s how sugar wrecks our hormones, and below you’ll find my top resources to help you quit your groove-killing candy habit:

3 Ways Dessert Destroys Your Desire (AKA messing up your hormones)

1. Sugar kills testosterone: 
Insulin resistance, caused by a diet high in refined carbohydrates, including white flour, sugar, and alcohol, drives down testosterone in both men and women. Both sex drive and function (think erectile disfunction, which also effects the clitoris, not just the penis) take a hit when blood sugar levels are high.

2. Sugar saps your energy:
High-glycemic carbohydrates spike your blood sugar, leading to insulin over-production to pull your blood sugar back down. The roller coaster of low then high then low blood sugar results in fatigue, which is one reason why a big pasta dinner with wine knocks you out of the mood. High sugar consumption also leads to decreased orexin, a neurotransmitter that regulates arousal and wakefulness, which leads to fatigue, which leads to snoring, rather than snogging.

3. Sugar = stress:
Sugar is the most inflammatory food around, which leads to physical stress in every aspect of your body and mind. High insulin levels will elevate cortisol, a main stress hormone. Chronic high cortisol leads to muscle break down, fat storage, and squashed libido. Not a sweet picture, right?
If one of your big desires in life is to feel juicy, sexy, and alive, then it’s time to cut the sugar, sweet one.

Use some of my sugar-free recipes (and more recipes here!) to help you on a two-week sugar-free experiment!

Here’s my post on the top 41 secret sugar names to help you avoid sweeteners in your food.

Balance your hormones, honey. Get your groove back!

May is the 20th Anniversary of National Masturbation Month!

Join me as I interview the top experts on women’s sexual health, on the Crave Cast, every Friday.

Go here to hear the shows!

xo,

Alex

 
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Sober, With The Lights On [Love Yourself]

It’s time to turn on the lights + get clear, sweet ones.
It’s time to love yourself well.

May is National Masturbation Month: It's time to get clear + sober about our physical cravings! http://bit.ly/lovesoberpleasure

May is National Masturbation Month: It’s time to get clear + sober about our physical cravings! http://bit.ly/lovesoberpleasure

I’m going to talk about some stuff that’s even more taboo
than your weight, and is as crucial to your health, life satisfaction + happiness:

Our sensuality…or how we give ourselves the healing power of physical pleasure.
And masturbation.

Even typing that made my stomach drop.

I admit it: I still feel a bit nervous writing about sexual health + sexuality.

Then why for heaven’s sake am I doing it?

Because I know how important it is that we women
finally feel good in our bodies.

And because May is the 20th Anniversary of National Masturbation Month.

And I know how hard it is for ALL of us to talk about it…
and that it’s a secret piece of our health that has a huge impact
on how we feel IN + ABOUT our bodies.

How we feel about sex, food, and our physical need for pleasure is all tied together…
and there is too much shame around all of these.

I want all of us here in my tribe, my “clan of the crave bears,”
to love + feel confident in her (or his) own skin.

But most of us feel embarrassed by our bodies,
what we eat, and our sensual desires + needs.

They’re “touchy” subjects. (ok, enough joking – maybe)

We know that both can be wonderful (or so we’ve heard),
but we feel so awkward with them, that we try to get
through them quickly + without awareness.

See, I believe we keep ourselves in the dark + hide from
our food habits + sexual desires.

We’ve been fooled into thinking that if we don’t look at
our cravings + desires for both food + sex,
our problems with them will just go away.

But it’s a lie.
The less we pay attention,
the more we judge ourselves,
and the more we do both (food + physical pleasure) unconsciously.

Of this I’m certain: our unaware, rushed, judgmental way of
eating + treating our bodies is killing us.

We eat standing up, face in the fridge, quickly devouring dessert
as if we could erase the fact of what we’re eating…

And many of our sexual experiences are done with the lights off
(literally + figuratively), after a few drinks, as if the veil of alcohol +
darkness could make our embarrassment go away:

embarrassment of our bodies
embarrassment of our desires
hatred of our bodies
hatred of our cravings

It’s time to get clear + turn the lights on.
It’s time to talk about our desires + cravings.
It’s time to ask the questions + find the answers we need…

So that we can finally love our bodies, our lives + fully come alive.

Now is the perfect time to do this:

May is the 20th anniversary of National Masturbation Month, and I’ll be interviewing several top experts in women’s health + sexuality on my Crave Cast podcast about:

– the physical + psychological benefits of masturbation
– why so many of us (women especially) have a negative association with it
– how we can begin to practice specific techniques to help us:
– like + get to know our bodies better
– balance our hormones
– reduce our food cravings
– reduce + eliminate annoying urinary incontenence

4 things I’ve discovered in my research + heard from my clients about the benefits of masturbation + self-pleasure:

1. the more familiar we are with what makes our own bodies feel good, the better we are at asking our partner for what we want, or the better boundaries we have with creating and maintaining relationships;

2. the better we are at asking our partners for what we want, the more we get clear on what we want in life;
3. the more clear we can be about what we want in life, and the more confidence we have about being able to create it ourselves, the more help we ask for + receive;
4. The more help we ask for in life, the more productive we are, the more supportive we feel, the happier we are, the less stressed out we feel, and the more creative we can be.

Too many of the “health + happiness” experts avoid the topic of sex,
as if it had nothing to do with our vitality, emotional food cravings, and hormone balancing.

They’re missing a huge key aspect of health + aliveness.

Why? Because it’s hard to talk about. It scares people.
But this silence is hurting all of us.

In my book, Women, Food, And Desire, I wrote about food, sex, health, and cravings.

Many readers told me it was the first time they had connected these ideas before,
and that it changed how they eat and live their lives.

I’ll be writing about these delicate, yet important, topics all month,
and will post expert interviews every Friday on my Crave Cast podcast.

I hope you’ll listen, read, and share this with a friend as a way to move women’s health,
and this important conversation further.

xo,

Alex

 
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